Day 4...

Today is day 4 of Holly's life. She eventually entered this world @ 12:12pm on Monday 21st May. Charlotte had been in labour since 4:30am on Sunday...they eventually decided that she would have to have a section. To go through all that pain & end up having a big operation is every expectant mother's worst nightmare!

The worst part for me was knowing my daughter was suffering & I couldn't help her! She was too ill for visitors on Monday evening, so Stephen rang round close family to fit us in to see them. Paula went with Stephen's sister on Tuesday afternoon; I had an appointment myself @ the hospital so couldn't go...I so wanted to be first!!! Stephen had sent us a photo of Holly just after she was born & Paula took some more; I couldn't wait to meet her!

Albert & I were waiting outside the ward @ visiting time, 6:30pm. It took us a while to find the room they were in. Stephen appeared & I got to see MY baby...she looked exhausted! I spent some time just holding Charlotte's hand, then I got my first look at Holly. She was, of course, beautiful! She took me back to the birth of her Mummy & Auntie Paula; she looked so like them! I could also see her Daddy...oh how I wanted to hold her! Charlotte didn't want her disturbing so I had to wait!

An hour later she was waking & looked ready for a feed. At last, my chance to have a cuddle! You think you would forget how to hold a baby after over 30 yrs, but you don't! She felt so @ home in my arms! She opened her eyes & made lip movements. We persuaded Granddad to have a hold, think he thought she would break. It was then time for us to leave & let the new family get on with things.

Yesterday Stephen's Dad & other sister went to see them. About 10 minutes ago Albert & Paula left to go & pick them up to take them home. I am going to pay a quick visit tomorrow, I didn't want them to feel overwhelmed today. It hurts giving space, but I know it's the right thing to do, I want to be welcomed, not dreaded!!!