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Thursday 31 May 2012
Tuesday 29 May 2012
8 days old!!!
Had a lovely photo sent by Stephen today...Holly is changing so quickly as each day passes! I had to stop myself from going to visit today, so wanted to but I mustn't be a nuisance. Tomorrow is Stephen's birthday...Charlotte is worried cos she can't do something special for his birthday...she gave him a baby!!! This blog is going to be about Holly...my other is for me to pour my heart out to.
Sunday 27 May 2012
First Photo!
Stephen was thoughtful enough, despite all that was going on, to text the first photo he took of Holly. Because we have old phones we couldn't receive this...but could view it once on the T-Mobile web site. I managed, somehow, to save this precious picture!
We have our copy in a frame & I have given one to Stephen, he was pleased with it. I have taken a few photos since, not as many as I'd like to, but I didn't want to risk a flash when Holly was sleeping! Those times of rest for Mummy & Daddy are very important. We popped round today, Sunday 27th May, but the house was all locked up. We presumed that they were all resting so we didn't knock.
I've just sent Charlotte a text asking how things are...no answer yet. I've dug out the oldest digital camera we have, I'm going to leave it for Stephen to use whenever he can. It's not until many years later we realised that we hadn't taken enough photos of the girls...especially Charlotte. We didn't have a camera at the time & I had borrowed my mum's. Today you would just go out & buy one, way back then cameras were something you got as a present! Times have changed SO much...imagine, your own phone, without a wire...on the labour ward!!!
When I had Paula in 1974 some Dad's were attending their children's births. By 1979 when I gave birth to Charlotte it was much more common. Albert didn't choose to be there. He doesn't even like watching animals being born on the TV! Part of me wishes he had been there, another part completely understands his reasons not to be, & the old fashioned idea that it's a woman's place...
Back to Holly! Charlotte has just texted. The mid wife has been, her stitches are out & Holly now weighs 8lbs, which is good. At first we thought she weighed 8lbs 9ozs, but as they give the weight in metric we had to translate! So, she was between 8lbs 5ozs & 8lbs 6ozs...time for the first photo I think!
We have our copy in a frame & I have given one to Stephen, he was pleased with it. I have taken a few photos since, not as many as I'd like to, but I didn't want to risk a flash when Holly was sleeping! Those times of rest for Mummy & Daddy are very important. We popped round today, Sunday 27th May, but the house was all locked up. We presumed that they were all resting so we didn't knock.
I've just sent Charlotte a text asking how things are...no answer yet. I've dug out the oldest digital camera we have, I'm going to leave it for Stephen to use whenever he can. It's not until many years later we realised that we hadn't taken enough photos of the girls...especially Charlotte. We didn't have a camera at the time & I had borrowed my mum's. Today you would just go out & buy one, way back then cameras were something you got as a present! Times have changed SO much...imagine, your own phone, without a wire...on the labour ward!!!
When I had Paula in 1974 some Dad's were attending their children's births. By 1979 when I gave birth to Charlotte it was much more common. Albert didn't choose to be there. He doesn't even like watching animals being born on the TV! Part of me wishes he had been there, another part completely understands his reasons not to be, & the old fashioned idea that it's a woman's place...
Thursday 24 May 2012
Day 4...
Today is day 4 of Holly's life. She eventually entered this world @ 12:12pm on Monday 21st May. Charlotte had been in labour since 4:30am on Sunday...they eventually decided that she would have to have a section. To go through all that pain & end up having a big operation is every expectant mother's worst nightmare!
The worst part for me was knowing my daughter was suffering & I couldn't help her! She was too ill for visitors on Monday evening, so Stephen rang round close family to fit us in to see them. Paula went with Stephen's sister on Tuesday afternoon; I had an appointment myself @ the hospital so couldn't go...I so wanted to be first!!! Stephen had sent us a photo of Holly just after she was born & Paula took some more; I couldn't wait to meet her!
Albert & I were waiting outside the ward @ visiting time, 6:30pm. It took us a while to find the room they were in. Stephen appeared & I got to see MY baby...she looked exhausted! I spent some time just holding Charlotte's hand, then I got my first look at Holly. She was, of course, beautiful! She took me back to the birth of her Mummy & Auntie Paula; she looked so like them! I could also see her Daddy...oh how I wanted to hold her! Charlotte didn't want her disturbing so I had to wait!
An hour later she was waking & looked ready for a feed. At last, my chance to have a cuddle! You think you would forget how to hold a baby after over 30 yrs, but you don't! She felt so @ home in my arms! She opened her eyes & made lip movements. We persuaded Granddad to have a hold, think he thought she would break. It was then time for us to leave & let the new family get on with things.
Yesterday Stephen's Dad & other sister went to see them. About 10 minutes ago Albert & Paula left to go & pick them up to take them home. I am going to pay a quick visit tomorrow, I didn't want them to feel overwhelmed today. It hurts giving space, but I know it's the right thing to do, I want to be welcomed, not dreaded!!!
The worst part for me was knowing my daughter was suffering & I couldn't help her! She was too ill for visitors on Monday evening, so Stephen rang round close family to fit us in to see them. Paula went with Stephen's sister on Tuesday afternoon; I had an appointment myself @ the hospital so couldn't go...I so wanted to be first!!! Stephen had sent us a photo of Holly just after she was born & Paula took some more; I couldn't wait to meet her!
Albert & I were waiting outside the ward @ visiting time, 6:30pm. It took us a while to find the room they were in. Stephen appeared & I got to see MY baby...she looked exhausted! I spent some time just holding Charlotte's hand, then I got my first look at Holly. She was, of course, beautiful! She took me back to the birth of her Mummy & Auntie Paula; she looked so like them! I could also see her Daddy...oh how I wanted to hold her! Charlotte didn't want her disturbing so I had to wait!
An hour later she was waking & looked ready for a feed. At last, my chance to have a cuddle! You think you would forget how to hold a baby after over 30 yrs, but you don't! She felt so @ home in my arms! She opened her eyes & made lip movements. We persuaded Granddad to have a hold, think he thought she would break. It was then time for us to leave & let the new family get on with things.
Sunday 20 May 2012
Grandma in waiting!!!
At 11:28am today I received a text from my daughter Charlotte. She was in the assessment unit of the maternity department of North Manchester General Hospital.
It is now nearly six hours later & I have rung the hospital; she is still in the assessment unit. I feel so useless! My mother's instinct is to be with her but I know this is a journey she & Stephen want to do together, totally understandable. But what is a Grandma in waiting to do???
I realise now what my poor mum was going through whilst I was having my two daughters! Mum, I wish I could phone you in heaven & ask you to be there with me to marvel at their birth! I wish I'd taken more time out from a busy life to visit you more (even though we did annoy each other rather a lot!)
Why is it so often too late when we learn a lesson? I'm now able to understand why my mum made the comments she did, & the number of times she must have bitten her tongue too!!! I'm finding it hard to do the same sometimes. My opinion is not needed on every little thing that my daughters now chose to do...boy, it must be one of the hardest things ever!
You care & protect your children for so long, to the best of your ability, then one day, when you are not prepared, you have to take a back seat. I wish they had covered this in parent craft classes! The rest I have managed to get through, but God I am struggling with this stage of development!!!
It is now nearly six hours later & I have rung the hospital; she is still in the assessment unit. I feel so useless! My mother's instinct is to be with her but I know this is a journey she & Stephen want to do together, totally understandable. But what is a Grandma in waiting to do???
I realise now what my poor mum was going through whilst I was having my two daughters! Mum, I wish I could phone you in heaven & ask you to be there with me to marvel at their birth! I wish I'd taken more time out from a busy life to visit you more (even though we did annoy each other rather a lot!)
Why is it so often too late when we learn a lesson? I'm now able to understand why my mum made the comments she did, & the number of times she must have bitten her tongue too!!! I'm finding it hard to do the same sometimes. My opinion is not needed on every little thing that my daughters now chose to do...boy, it must be one of the hardest things ever!
You care & protect your children for so long, to the best of your ability, then one day, when you are not prepared, you have to take a back seat. I wish they had covered this in parent craft classes! The rest I have managed to get through, but God I am struggling with this stage of development!!!
Sunday 13 May 2012
2012...The Start!
The title of my blog refers to my outlook on this year. On 3rd January my youngest daughter told me she was expecting a baby! This is something I never thought I would hear! My husband & I were ecstatic! To make it even better, the baby was due in May; we only had four months to wait...WOW!!! So, I rush out & start buying things I'd always avoided when shopping, why look when it just tugs at your heart?
Also in January I had my first appointment with my new psychiatrist. For years, longer than I care to remember, I had suffered with depression & anxiety. I have seen many doctors about my illness, but this one seemed to understand me more than I did myself! She looked at my meds...& made some adjustments. She wanted to see me again in 6 weeks! Now that is quick for a revisit to a psych! When I returned she prescribed me another drug. I had to increase it over the next three weeks then stay on than dose until I saw her in May. I went to see her last week. I think she could tell as soon as I entered her room that there was an improvement, I know I had felt one. My anxiety was much more under control & my depression not as severe.
I'm now due to go for cognitive behaviour therapy in a couple of weeks. By then my Granddaughter, ( yes it's a girl!) will be here. I also have an appointment at a pain clinic for my back problems. So...2012 has been a start! A start of a new chapter in my life. One of improved health & the gift of a precious child! It's been a good year...so far!!!
Also in January I had my first appointment with my new psychiatrist. For years, longer than I care to remember, I had suffered with depression & anxiety. I have seen many doctors about my illness, but this one seemed to understand me more than I did myself! She looked at my meds...& made some adjustments. She wanted to see me again in 6 weeks! Now that is quick for a revisit to a psych! When I returned she prescribed me another drug. I had to increase it over the next three weeks then stay on than dose until I saw her in May. I went to see her last week. I think she could tell as soon as I entered her room that there was an improvement, I know I had felt one. My anxiety was much more under control & my depression not as severe.
I'm now due to go for cognitive behaviour therapy in a couple of weeks. By then my Granddaughter, ( yes it's a girl!) will be here. I also have an appointment at a pain clinic for my back problems. So...2012 has been a start! A start of a new chapter in my life. One of improved health & the gift of a precious child! It's been a good year...so far!!!
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